Managing+Emotions

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Helpguide.org describes self management as the ability to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances (Segal and Smith, 2012). Self management is an important aspect of emotional intelligence as leaders and project managers must be able to manage themselves before they are successful at managing others. The first step to strengthening self management skills is to improve your self-awareness. You may ask yourself, "do I know how to handle my own emotions, impulses and behaviors?" In this section, we'll go over the six competencies of self management, and then will discuss four ways to improve your self management skills.



Six competencies
According to leading emotional intelligence author Daniel Goleman, self management emcompasses six competencies: (adapted from Goleman, 2002)
 * Self-control - you are able to manage your feelings when you are under intense pressure or stress. You do not let yourself be overcome by anger or frustration, but you recognize your feelings and calm yourself down
 * Trustworthiness - you let others know your values and intentions and you act in ways that are consistent with them
 * Conscientiousness - you are careful, rational, responsible and self-disciplined
 * Adaptability - you are open to change and new information, you are creative and comfortable with taking risks
 * Achievement drive - you constantly strive to improve your performance
 * Initiative - you act on your own accord, before you are forced to act by external sources

How to improve your Self Management Skills
Once you've become self-aware, you will be able to work on improving your self management skills. Improving your skills will make you a better leader and a better project manager.

Here are a few tips to improve your self management skills: (adapted from Segal and Smith, 2012)
 * Recognize when you're stressed, angry, sad or frustrated
 * Identify your emotional response
 * Discover your personal techniques to calm yourself down when your emotions are out of control
 * Ask yourself honestly where you could improve in the six competencies listed above

Self Management in Action
It has been a long day, and your project team members are frustrated. They have developed a negative attitude towards the client and are threatening to drag out a deadline. They are looking to you, their project manager for direction. Instead of losing your temper and blowing things out of proportion, you maintain your cool. Because of your strong self management skills, you are able to manage your emotions when you are under stress. You take initiative and adapt the milestone to meet the deadline on time. Your client's trust has been maintained and you have become a better project manager.